My Valentine: Our Story

February 14, 2016

Portrait is from our holiday in Cape Town 2012
I was torn between writing about how my 2016 Valentine's day panned out to a reflection of the wonderful years I have shared with my with dear hubby; and the latter worn. This is going to be a series of stories as I cannot compress everything in one post.


My husband and I were actually friends before we became lovers. We were both in relationships and what actually made our friendship last this long was our religion and the fact that we go to the same church. Throughout our friendship, we respected our relationships but we would share the highs and lows and give each other advise about what to work on so that they would lead into marriages. In all honest truth, it was never love at first sight. I never pictured myself as his wife because to me he was just a good friend. When God has a hand in everything you touch, it will eventually be evident.

My ex was very romantic even if I have to say so myself. He would buy me flowers and bring me lunch every now and again. Mind you him and I were staying about 80kms apart but he would make the effort. Apparently dear hubby was not impressed when I would post about my dates and gifts on facebook, he was basically jealous. Now let me get back to my story with dear hubby and not seem like I am comparing the 2 gentlemen.

I am someone who generally sleeps very early, as early as 20H00 and I do not like to be bothered once I am in bed. Funny enough, I did not mind him calling me after 21H00 where we would chat until midnight. At one point he ran his work cellphone bill until it was +/-R92000, that is a lot of money invested in someone who is just a friend. For the most part of our friendship journey, my relationship was going great and his was unfortunately going downhill fast. I would encourage him to pray so that God would save his relationship or at least give him the right partner. When my relationship started crumbling down, he was already a couple of months into being single/bachelor. I eventually called it quits when we could not salvage it.

Months went by and my cousin would ask me who calls me for hours at night everyday and I would say it is my friend. I remember one day she made a comment about no guy would invest so much of his time and resources in someone he was not hoping would become his girlfriend at least. I dismissed her analysis and I told her how he was not my type. She asked me to give her at least 5 reasons why not. I said firstly he is very tall and I am short; he is dark and I like fair skinned guys; he went to varsity with my uncle, imagine the awkwardness should my uncle find out we were dating lol; he was staying in Pretoria and had just got a transfer to go back to Polokwane, I was staying in Kempton Park and was in a project in Mafikeng, I mean where would I find the time to see him. I felt we were a mismatch to even think of romantic relations with him.

Almost everytime we spoke on the phone, he would say "I love you" before hanging up. It did not mean anything to me nor would I respond to him. In fact I thought he was bluffing. However this changed after my cousin's analysis of his intentions or "epiphany". One day I responded to him and said the way you play around with those words, I would not even know the difference on the day you will not be or just saying them but actually meaning each and every word. To me it was a revelation that I was starting to see him not just as a friend, but a potential partner. In fact, the only thing missing in this situation was me accepting his advances because honestly we were doing everything couples do. We would go to the movies, something he does not enjoy but he would gladly go because it’s me. We would buy each other CDs and books, dine out, and check on each other 10 times a day lol. He is not a morning person but he would call to wake me in the morning. Hmm

Let me leave it here, till next time....
Next piece will be in April when we celebrate 4 years of our traditional marriage.

Thanks for stopping by!

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